Sister stops filling shared car with gas after older brother repeatedly leaves it nearly empty and ignores requests to help contribute: ‘[My mom decided that we share the car]’

In many households, shared resources such as a car can work smoothly when everyone contributes fairly to expenses like gas and insurance. But what happens when that balance breaks down, and it's no longer a fairly shared resource? The person covering most expenses would probably feel frustrated for subsidizing everyone else's convenience. 

It's understandable that a parent may encourage siblings to share a car. It seems more practical, and it allows them to share costs. Siblings can agree on basic rules, and that's it. Fair enough. But if there's someone who clearly is taking advantage of the situation, maybe it's time for mom to step in… 

Well, not the case here. The sister is not getting any help from her mother, so she stands her ground and earns herself some respect. 

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  • 01
    Sister looking at the camera with a concerned expression.
    via Unsplash+ (Vitaly Gariev)

    Sister looking at the camera with a concerned expression.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to put gas in a shared car unless I’m using it for more than 2 days?

    1 (22F) am one year out of college and working full time. I make about $17/hour.
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 03
    When I got my job, my older sister helped me fix up her old car so I could use it for work. I pay $100/month for insurance, which I can manage.
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 04
    However, my mom quickly decided that the car would be shared between me and my older brother (25+). He has a history of quitting jobs and instability, but recently got a good job with benefits. Because of past financial mistakes, his credit is bad and he can't get his own car.
    via Typical_Baseball2078

  • Eventually, it was obvious that the sister was going to reach her limit someday. She could no longer afford to maintain a car on her own while also covering her brother's share of the gas. She was even filling the tank for her brother. Fuel is not a minor expense, and neither is insurance, especially on a limited income. She may help temporarily if her brother really needs it, but at this point, this is already affecting her financial situation, and it's actually a burden. 

  • 05
    My mom also justified the shared car by saying he needs it to walk our dog. However, the dog has had health issues (including a UTI), which I believe is due to lack of consistent walking from Home
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 06
    The issue is gas. My brother frequently drives the car until it is nearly empty. The gas gauge is broken, so we track mileage instead-around 200 miles is when it needs gas immediately. I have been left with the car at 230+ miles multiple times with no gas and no money in it.
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 07
    Fuel gauge showing empty tank with low fuel warning.
    via Unsplash+ (Wesley Tingey)

    Fuel gauge showing empty tank with low fuel indicator.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    I have personally broken down multiple times due to the car running out of gas. Gas is expensive for me, and I've even had to rely on Afterpay and gift cards to fill it.
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 09
    Meanwhile, my brother doesn't contribute consistently. When I ask him to put gas in, I get ignored. When | bring it up to my mom, she brings up one time I said I would send him money for gas (which I never actually agreed to doing).
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 10
    Older brother using shared car without paying for gas and leaving an empty tank.
    via Unsplash+ (Ulrik Skare)

    Older brother enjoying shared car without paying for gas and leaving an empty tank.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    He called me while I was on vacation to confront me about gas. I ended the call.
    via Typical_Baseball2078
  • 12
    Now I'm saying I will only put gas in the car if I'm using it for more than 2 days at a time. So, AITA?
    via Typical_Baseball2078

  • She even asked his brother many times for help, but he kept ignoring her, so it's high time she said something. Her decision to stop filling the tank was totally reasonable. In the end, it was the only way of putting an end to this recurring situation. If people don't respect you, you have to stand up for yourself and earn the respect that you deserve. 

  • 13
    rjvCdn It'd be annoying, but depending on your commute, just put like $10 on days you use it or however much it costs to go the distance you go. He'll start running out more and learn quick. Do not give them money for gas
    via rjvCdn
  • 14
    EwwDavvidd NTA, but I'm not clear who owns the car and has control over it. Your brother is an AH for returning a car on empty. But the only solution I see id for you to purchase your own car.
    via rjvCdn
  • 15
    ZookeepergameOk1833 Google maps how far you are going and coming home. Put that much gss in plus $1. Do not finance his life. NTA
    via rjvCdn
  • 16
    forevermeinone If your sister is the legal owner it's up to her to say who can use it. Is she charging your brother for insurance as well? Regardless it's a sucky situation and the best thing you can do is only put in the amount of gas that you actually need for the day.
    via rjvCdn

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family dynamics family drama family stories brother older brother family sister financial support fuel gas money gas
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